Desire Manifestation
by Tenki-chan
Summary: Yaoi. "The fact that I was afraid to touch it only made me want to touch it more. Fear pissed me off for some reason. Why did I have to be scared of some stupid jagged surface crystal thing? I reached out to touch the mysterious red and black barrier..."
1. Darkness

**Summary: **_In this story it is in the Bleach Universe, but Ichigo is not a human but a soul (he has all his powers) and was a Soul Reaper before he has been mysteriously sealed. He begins to reawaken after centuries in this state. The only problem is, he has no idea who exactly he is..._**  
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><p><strong>Warning: <strong>Future yaoi of course (you know i cant help uke-ing Ichigo~). Probably language.

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><p><strong>Ichigo: <strong>Thank god this twisted bitch doesn't own bleach...

**Me: **Hey! Totally not nice Ichi-berry! =P

**Aizen: **If it prevents you from continuing your incessant whining, I wish you owned Bleach**.**

**Me: **Oooo~ Really! Aww that's so0o0oo sweet~ Why~?

**Aizen: **How else will I get to ravish my delectable Strawberry?

**Ichigo: **Shut it! You smug bastard! No one likes you *pouting*

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><p><strong>Author's note:<strong> Okaaaaaaaay~ I must sincerely apologize for not updating **_How Did This Happen!_** I think I was infected with a serious case of writer's block...but i do have the first like 1000 words written...i will have it done before January, i can promise you that. But i really am sorry! Please forgive me! I did start a new bleach ff (which is this one) and the mass effect 2 one i posted and i have an assassin's creed one in the making...you guys are probably all like stop making new ff and work on ur current ones! Again sry ;~; i can't seem to help myself...anyways~ you all are probably tired of hearing my apologize so here is the prologue to my new ff~

**Random side note~** I had this awesome dream where my persona Tenki-chan was captured and sold as a slave to Aizen~! (twas fucking awesome~) And Aizen and the espada were vampires and it tuned out I (tenki) was born to be Aizen's human servant and i have a fun reverse harem with my favorite espada (with Aizen's permission of course~) Lolz

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><p>Everything was dark. Peaceful. But wrong. Like I somehow knew I wasn't supposed to be here. But where? Where am I? And where was I supposed to be if not here? Have I always been here? The few moments of consciousness are lost and I'm once again lost. Unthinking.<p>

**~!~!~**

I'm back in this peaceful state. I can think once more. But what should I think about? Nothing comes to mind. It's like this darkness. Empty. Was I always this way? Empty? Vacant? Nobody? Its…painful. To be nobody. A meaningless void. Why? I willingly drift farther down. Back to that thoughtless void where these feelings don't tear me apart. Gratefully unthinking.

**~!~!~**

Images. Broken. Incomprehensible. I don't understand them. They go by too fast. They confuse me. Frighten me. Airways constrict. Panic cascades around me. Consumes me. I wish for that darkness to return and soon it does. Panic subsides. Unthinking once again.

**~!~!~**

Something tells me I should be fighting this darkness. Not allowing it to overcome me. An inner voice. Asking me why I'm so weak. How could I be so helpless? I should be battling till my last breath. Perhaps instinct? If so, should I listen to its distorted words? Or maybe that's who I was. A Fighter? I like that. Someone brave. Strong. A Protector. It feels right. A title. An identity. I'm no longer nothing in this unending darkness.

**~!~!~**

I struggle to keep my mind in the perpetual darkness this time. What's left of it. But its hard to struggle when I don't know why. Is there any reason to my fighting? How did I get here? Why was I here? Maybe, just maybe, I was supposed to be here? Why else would I be here? My indecision causes me to lose focus. Too late I realize this mistake. I am dragged back down to that place of no thoughts, cursing and struggling all the way into that great oblivion.

**~!~!~**

Fight. Every time I struggle through this black void my head feels like it's about to explode. Tear, rip to shreds. But the rightness of it causes me to continue. The mysterious and distorted feeling of approval and strength is telling me that this is the right course of action. Fight with everything I have. Clawing in some unknown direction. Fight until I'm bruised and bloodied and cannot fight any longer, only to get back up. Always get back up. That's what I do. We do. Push past everything telling me to stop and rest. Because it's lying. Only trying to trick us and make us fail. If you stop you die. It was that simple. Fight.  
>The only thing I feel is that pain. Surprisingly, it has become a welcome pain. If I'm in pain I'm alive right? A base instinct. It is the body's response. Telling you that you are still alive, breathing. Thus, pain can only be a welcome feeling. Without it you are dead. It meant I was simply trapped. Not dead yet, is what it was telling my body. Trapped. And I felt as if I was the type of person to fight against such things. A Fighter. A Protector. I have grown fond of the identity I have pieced together from those frightening images. Clung to it. It is all I know. So I will fight for it.<br>Nothing traps me for long. Fight against it! Claw through this accursed place! Fight damnit! Fight!

**Please REVIEW~! Please please please plz plz plz plz~! I really love reviews and I become quite pathetic without them! I also have no self-confidence...**


	2. Author's Note ps don't worry

Author's Note

Okay, first of all, stop worrying, I'm not discontinuing this story or anything. I jus figured I'd give you all an update and prove to you that I'm still alive and kicking!

So, I'd like to apologize for giving those of you who love my stories a potential heart attack and also getting your hopes up when you were notified that your story (finally) updated only to find an author's note.

I'm really sorry for the lack of updates guys, I reeeeaaallly am. I was just really busy in Spring and once I updated How Did This Happen!? I got extremely distracted on working out my main Original Story and when my mind gets its claws on one story its hard to focus on others. That being said, I expected to continue working on my fanfictions once summer started and college work was outta the way. Unfortunately for me (and you, though mostly me) I decided to take summer courses (and I will tell you now that taking 3 classes during summer and watching all your friends NOT DOING HOMEWORK is so0o0o0o0o0o not fun =_=). So, needless to say, I was swamped during the summer with classes, actually socializing with people in real life, and sleep (and video games, sry I'm kinda addicted to em). Now, as Fall semester starts, I decided to take 6 classes…(I swear I'm a masochist) and as I'm currently in multiple art and writing classes, I find myself slightly burned out with artistic/authory things (such as fanart/fanfictions/original art/ect).

I do realize that these are just excuses, so I'm sorry. But its life, and I can't force the arty juices from my brain without dying a horrible and painful death (wow…just imagined that…okay stopping now…)

Anyways, I just wanted to let you all know that I'm still alive and I swear I won't ever EVER consider discontinuing ANY of my stories EVER. It just might be awhile for me to update. Hopefully winter break will be the end of this wait! (I believe it is from dec 12th-jan 7th for those of you who are curious). Though I could be a random derp and update before then :D (this is most likely wishful thinking but whateves)

On a side note, I'm currently stuck on the storyline for Night Blooming Cereus (Honestly, at this point in time, I'm blaming this story for my lack of updates because, since it was giving me problems, I haven't been able to focus and I can't update any other story cuz this was supposed to be the next updated story in my cycle), so if anyone wants to pm me (so if I decided to include your idea it can be a surprise to everyone) some ideas or just something you want to happen then go ahead :D I jus have certain things that I want to happen so as long as it doesn't conflict, I'll consider adding your idea (and mention you as the idea giver when it appears of course). Also, as I believe I mentioned before, this going to be a harem/Ichigo fic~ so0o0o0o0~ if you guys wants certain people with ichi just ask and I'll see if it can work out~ (I'm thinking that so far its gonna be _Aizen/Ichi_ Shiro/Ichigo_ Gin/Ichigo_ Grimmjow/Ichigo_ Ulquiorra/Ichigo_ Starrk/Ichigo_ Szayel/Ichigo_ Tousen/Ichigo (maybe) Hisagi/Ichigo (maybe)_ Gin/Ichigo/Shiro_ Grimmjow/Ichigo/Ulquiorra_Aizen/Ichigo/Gin_but these are just my thoughts so they might change). These are mostlt side pairings though, so will they will have a main person as well. (for instance, there will be GrimmIchi and UlquIchi, but the main pairing is GrimmUlqui…make sense?) The only one I'd say no to is probably Nnoitra/Ichigo. I have nothing against this pairing, as I've read some cute ones, but Nnoitra and I just reaaaly don't get along…we fight too much for me to write him a lot.

As for How Did This Happen!?, I may not have all the chapters written out, but I pretty much have them planned and know whats gonna happen there, so no worries with this story. (I'm thinking its gonna roughly be about 20 chapters, give or take a few)

All I know for Desire Manifestation is that its gonna be a Bleach/Harry potter xover fic (because I find myself madly obsessed with this xover)…but I haven't rly worked on this one yet. Perhaps I will once How did this happen gets complete.

No idea where I'm going with I Bring The Tumbling Stars (I was in Mass Effect obsessed mode when I wanted to write it) But it took me days to decide on this stories name and Shepard has an awesome background in my mind (AND OMG I LOVE GARRUS…*coughcough* sorry bout that…) so this damn story will be whipped into submission by moi!

Other random updates that might interest you:

-I have started writing a somewhat torture fic for Supernatural…cuz who doesn't love our favorite Dean in hell?

-I wrote part of an assassin's creed fic a LOOOOONNG time ago and I'm still thinking on whether or not I will actually write it or not (what do you guys think?)

-I'm thinking of writing a Hellsing/Bleach xover because Alucard/Ichigo IS JUST SUPER HAWT! (my mind is having fun write nowz :]

-And finally~ I have come up with an idea for a crazy fic where the main character's name is Tenki. And I know, it's a main OC fic *shudders* I know there are probably many people who avoid these types of things (trust me, it needs to be some fucktastic summary to lure me in when OCs become involved) but hear me out with this idea, cuz I think it might be pretty cool. I'm thinking of making it kinda like a dating sim game, where the default character's name is Tenki, but your minds can hopefully change it to your own name if you wish. Has anyone read the goosebump books? Where you can decide what you want to do at specific points and it directs you to a different page depending on your answer? I want it to be kinda like that, but you get to choose who you want to be with and go to the specified chapter. For instance, Ulquiorra is chapter 4.1 Grimmjow is 4.2 Starrk is 4.3, ect. And each chapter will be slightly different depending on who you pick and the endings will be different as well, with a bad ending, of course (cuz I feel imma have fun with that *smirks*). As always, with these sorts of games, there is one true person the default ends up with, but I won't tell you who it is till the end~ who knows, maybe you'll guess. Its basically set in an AU Bleach world (so just bleach characters) and in Harry Potter world. The shinigami are angels, hollows are demons, and those that betray heaven are the Fallen who turn into a very strong class of demon (I believe I'm calling them the Cielos Malvados). Also, Snape doesn't die. Cuz he's Snape. And I love him. And I think that's all imma say about it, cuz any more would jus be major spoilers. This story is probably gonna take me a lot of time so I might not get to it soon, but its there in my mind, poking me with a stick. So what dya think? Hate the idea? Love the idea? I was trying to make it like an interactive novel so it would be more interesting for everyone even if the main character will be an OC.

And I believe this is the end of my ridiculously long Author's Note. Again, I apologize for the lack of updates, and I hope you all don't hate me or nuthin. And I hope I didn't forget anything…

…BTWS I LOVE YOU ALL AND 333333333333 MANY HEARTS IN YOUR GENERAL DIRECTIONS!

ttfn tata for now~


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